It is a beautiful Sunday morning today. A day this charming, not even my earlier nightmarish episode can spoilt. I put on Maroon 5's CD, and chose their "Sunday Morning" to start off this wonderful day. A cheery song to make this day a whole lot more delightful...
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Tears, I refused...
"6.46AM" the time on my laptop showed. Woken up by a nightmare, I felt too perturbed to go back to dreamland, especially when it was having fun tormenting me just awhile ago.
All I want to do is to be happy. I put my troubles aside and tried my best to get on with my life. I don't want to spend my time languishing for something I could never have. I'm dealing with it very well I must say, except when nightmares dropped in on me during those quiet nights that is.
Maybe it's my Hyde who was beleaguering me. Maybe it's my guilt and conscience which had descried me. My nightmares plagued me about the wrong choices I had made. My nightmares revealed the consequences which I dreaded. My nightmares betrayed the pain that I'm feeling. My consciousness and sub-consciousness ganging up on me, tearing my wound apart, in all full bloody gory for me to see.
They all danced around me, taunting me, trying to make me cry the tears I refused to shed. And I still refuse to. I refuse to breakdown and cry, and show the pain that I bear.
I refuse to, because I'm stronger than they think.
All I want to do is to be happy. I put my troubles aside and tried my best to get on with my life. I don't want to spend my time languishing for something I could never have. I'm dealing with it very well I must say, except when nightmares dropped in on me during those quiet nights that is.
Maybe it's my Hyde who was beleaguering me. Maybe it's my guilt and conscience which had descried me. My nightmares plagued me about the wrong choices I had made. My nightmares revealed the consequences which I dreaded. My nightmares betrayed the pain that I'm feeling. My consciousness and sub-consciousness ganging up on me, tearing my wound apart, in all full bloody gory for me to see.
They all danced around me, taunting me, trying to make me cry the tears I refused to shed. And I still refuse to. I refuse to breakdown and cry, and show the pain that I bear.
I refuse to, because I'm stronger than they think.
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Not quite the naked truth...
Maybe I'm not writing/typing as much as I loved to, but sometimes it's just hard to do it when I'm not inspired to do so. I have no literary talents. So without inspiration, I'm just a blank page. Of course, not that the things I wrote are any good, but like I said before, they are very me.
I preferred to compose things which I really have feelings for. My posts tell stuffs which are, well, just me. They are bits and pieces about how I feel, my thoughts, my life, my love, my happiness, my sadness... Everything about who I am.
Call me diffident, but I don't really like to blatantly spell out my personal life in all naked truths, which is why I write my posts the way I did in "To: The Amnestic Me..." But there are times when things get rough and I really need a personal space to vent and maybe delete it later when I realised it's too baring. And so this blog was borne...
I preferred to compose things which I really have feelings for. My posts tell stuffs which are, well, just me. They are bits and pieces about how I feel, my thoughts, my life, my love, my happiness, my sadness... Everything about who I am.
Call me diffident, but I don't really like to blatantly spell out my personal life in all naked truths, which is why I write my posts the way I did in "To: The Amnestic Me..." But there are times when things get rough and I really need a personal space to vent and maybe delete it later when I realised it's too baring. And so this blog was borne...
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Another amnestic me...
So, I'm earmarking my other blog - "To: The Amnestic Me..." for all the weird and insipid stuff which I love to write about. And this blog, for the occasional maunderings I like to pour out. I love to write. I penned lots of stuff which are probably moonshine to others. Still, they are very me...
And from my posts on my other blog, you will probably figure out a bit of me. Love the rains. Love night time. Love to laze around. Can't resist jazz. Kind of idiosyncratic. Sort of a fantasist. And... You ascertain the rest from my past and future posts.
And from my posts on my other blog, you will probably figure out a bit of me. Love the rains. Love night time. Love to laze around. Can't resist jazz. Kind of idiosyncratic. Sort of a fantasist. And... You ascertain the rest from my past and future posts.
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